my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
