guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
