last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
