when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
