Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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