I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
