Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
