Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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