This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Rumble strips road head = magical
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
