if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
