# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have already put on my inside pants.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
