I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize