I want to walk on stilts...naked
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
