you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
