the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
