I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
