Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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