Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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