I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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