Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize