you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
