I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
