This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
