Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
