Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
