We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
