lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
