Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
