lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
