there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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