worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize