so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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