She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
