Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
