I can text with my tongue
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
