When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
