i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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