Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
