Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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