I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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