Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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