i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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