I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
