His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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