no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
