he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
