apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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