i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
