Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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