there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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