Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
