Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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