So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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