It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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