I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
