i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
