some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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